Happy Draft Day, everybody, and welcome back to the padded cell! It’s finally here and I can hardly wait for tonight’s main event. Although the latest draft rumors involving the Cleveland Browns and Tennessee Titans refuse to go away, my final mock goes on the website without any trades. The reason is that trying to figure out what thirty-two teams will do in the first round is tough enough without projecting trades. Besides that, I like to at least portray the illusion that I actually have a life. That said, here’s my final mockery of the 2015 NFL draft. I hope that you enjoy it.

ROUND ONE

Jameis Winston – QB – Florida State

Mr. Crab Legs holds on to the banner of being selected first overall for 2015 in spite of the issues with his off-the-field conduct.

Leonard Williams – DT – USC

The Titans keep the pick and select the best player in the draft because they don’t want to move down to seventeenth in a trade for Phillip Rivers.

Donte Fowler Jr. – OLB – Florida

The Jags take a pass rusher for their front seven.

Kevin White – WR – West Virginia

Al Davis’ son will carry on the Raider tradition of drafting by the stopwatch.

Vic Beasley – OLB – Clemson

The Skins get a much-needed edge rusher.

Marcus Mariota – QB – Oregon

New Head Coach Todd Bowles will want to have his guy at quarterback.

Amari Cooper – WR – Alabama

‘Da-Bears run defense was almost as bad as the Browns, but they traded Brandon Marshall in the off-season. All things considered, they take the playmaker with the higher ranking.

Welcome back to the padded cell, everybody! I’m making this one short and sweet because we’re so close to the actual event.

Brandon Scherff – OT – Iowa

Although the Falcons need an edge rusher, at least two of the top ones left apparently can’t stay off the chronic. That said; they’ll opt for an O-lineman to protect Matt Ryan.

Andrus Peat – OT – Stanford

The offense’s prime directive is to protect Eli Manning.

Todd Gurley – RB – Georgia

The Rams get a playmaker to take some pressure off their new starting quarterback Nick Foles.

DeVante Parker – WR – Louisville

Teddy Bridgewater is re-united with his favorite college target.

Danny Shelton – DT – Washington

According to reports, Shelton was told by the Browns that he’s their pick here.

Trae Waynes – CB – Michigan State

The Saints take the best corner off the board and fill a need in the process.

La’el Collins – OT – LSU

The Fins opt to bolster their O-line.

Alvin Dupree – DE/OLB – Kentucky

He’s the BPA in a position of need that doesn’t have issues with the chronic.

Landon Collins – SS – Alabama

This selection solidifies the back end of the defense.

Arik Armstead – DE – Oregon            

Armstead’s versatility allows him to play anywhere along the Chargers D-line.

Breshad Perriman – WR – Central Florida

Dwayne Bowe’s replacement reports for duty.

Cameron Erving – OC – Florida State (from Buffalo)

The Browns go with another nuts-and-bolts pick to finish their first round selections.

Kevin Johnson – CB – Wake Forest

Here’s another first round selection that fills a team’s top need.

Malcolm Brown – DT – Texas

They’ll probably go defensively in the first round – barring some freak incident happening.

Randy Gregory – OLB – Nebraska

He’s talented to be sure, but his addiction to the chronic cost him millions of dollars that he’ll never get back.

Ereck Flowers – OT – Miami (FL)

Protecting Matthew Stafford must be a priority.

Melvin Gordon – RB – Wisconsin

Todd Gurley is already off the board, so they take the next man up at the position.

Dorial Green-Beckham – WR – Oklahoma (via Missouri)

From a talent perspective, Green-Beckham might be the most gifted receiver in the entire draft; but with his off-the-field issues, the juice isn’t worth the squeeze until now . . . maybe not even until round two.

Byron Jones – CB – Connecticut

These aren’t the drones you’re looking for. Move along.

Eddie Goldman – DT – Florida State

The Cowboys’ top needs are all on defense.

Shane Ray – DE/OLB – Missouri

A foot injury and a marijuana possession arrest have caused Ray to almost fall out of the first round.

Marcus Peters – CB – Washington

The Colts would benefit by simply taking the best defensive player available for all seven rounds.

Ronald Darby – CB – Florida State

D-line and CB are the Packers biggest needs.

Jake Fisher – OT – Oregon (from Seattle)

Protecting Drew Brees is a must in New Orleans.

Eli Harold – OLB – Virginia

The Hoodie may reach for a NT here, but I think he’ll take the BPA regardless of position.

OTHER BROWNS PICKS:

043: Benardrick McKinney – ILB – Mississippi State

077: Lorenzo Mauldin – OLB – Louisville

111: Jeff Heuerman – TE – Ohio State

115: Sean Mannion – QB – Oregon State 

147: Dezmin Lewis – WR – Central Arkansas

188: Lynden Trail – DE – Norfolk State

201: Jalston Fowler – FB – Alabama

229: Justin Manton – K – Louisiana-Monroe

OBSERVATIONS AND CONCLUSIONS:

Here’s the breakdown . . . I have the Browns taking two D-linemen, one O-lineman two linebackers, one TE, one QB, one WR a FB, a placekicker and a partridge in a pear tree. All in all, it was pretty much a nuts-and-bolts kind of mock draft for Cleveland; which is what this team needs. We’ve already seen last year what can happen when you dominate discussion on draft night. If the Browns actually make ten selections from Thursday through Sunday, then I’ll be shocked. Ten rookies is a lot to bring in from the draft, not to mention URFA’s.

One final thought before I go . . . The anticipation for such an event as this is inevitably far greater than any rush of adrenaline from experiencing the actual event itself – unless, of course, your team lands that once in a generation quarterback. This is Bill Wunkle signing off from the padded cell. Have a good and safe Draft Night, everybody!