[BrownsFan4Life]

I’ve been a Browns fan my entire life. I either watched them on TV or listened on the radio when they were blacked out. When I joined the Navy in 1985 things changed a bit. I couldn’t just listen to them on the radio or watch on TV anytime I wanted. I would still try and get as much information on them as possible. When my first ship, USS TRUETT (FF1095) was underway. I figured out how to copy the UPI press wire. It would give news and sports. I ALWAYS found a way to make sure I was up to date about them. I was an exteme diehard Browns fan. I would watch ESPN when I could.

As the years went along and with technological advances like the internet, It was easy to keep up on all things Browns. I used CBS.SPORTSLINE.COM for years for sports. I would just read the play by play. It didn’t matter if I was in England (4 or 5 hour time difference) or in the states. When the Browns left and didn’t play for a few years, I was in Florida. Weh we got a team back and they started playing in 1999, I was still a huge fan. Even when I was stationed in Diego Garcia (2000-2001) or Guam (2001-2003) I would get up 1 or 2 am to read play by play on the internet, or if I was lucky they were on TV (Yeah they made in on a time or two). I would get next to no sleep and work a 10-12 hour shift but I did it because I loved the Browns.

After being overseas for the better part of 3 years, I got stationed in Florida (Sep 2003). This made it pretty easy to keep up with them. Been in the states since and with DirecTV is was super easy to see all the games. Though all the bad times I never waivered, never missed a game (unless I had to) and never gave up hope. All this while living out of Ohio for over 26 years and the commitment I had for the Browns stayed true.

Being back in Ohio for the last few years makes it easy to see every snap of every Browns game and I did. I never missed game. If there were something going on that I couldn’t watch live, I would DVR it and watch it later while trying my best not to find out the score.

You guys know how dedicated and passoinate I’ve been about the Browns since joining this great site with a great group of people. Heck we even had a few get togethers that were great in previous years but this year something happened to me. I finally reached my breaking point. Earlier in the year I was watching entire Browns games but as the season went on, I would start watching them and when it looked like they were done I would quit watching. Then I didn’t even start watching them when the game came on but would check the score after a quarter or half and see if it was worth it. If they started doing bad (or in some cases continued) I would just shut them off.

Last week I didn’t even start watching until the second quarter. The first play I seen was a PB TD and I shut it off right then and there. Then when I next seen the score it was 21-3 at the half so I knew I didn’t need to waste my time watching or even checking the score again.

I used to think that they will get better and I want to be a fan when they do but have realized that they only bring discomfort to me.

I still come in here once in a while and read what you guys post but don’t have a lot to say about them anymore which is why I rarely post.

After years of emotional abuse at the hands of the Cleveland Browns I have finally found peace. I am apathetic when it comes to them. I don’t care if they win or lose.

[Shooter]

I think this is the way almost all of us feel about the team right now.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who is a die-hard Steelers fan (which, I can tolerate because he’s from Pittsburgh so, I can’t begrudge him) and I was telling him about something I saw. I’d seen this video on facebook about the Steelers Drumline group (or something like that, I couldn’t remember their exact name because it’s the Steelers and I didn’t really care) and they were out in the parking lot at Heniz field, wailing away on these drums, getting the crowd all pumped up and basically having a hell of a time.

I told him that, it wasn’t jealousy, and it wasn’t envy that I felt, but it was a sadness that I had when I watched it, because I remember what it was like to feel that way about your team. It was grief. I remember the 80’s and early 90’s. I remember players on the cover of Sports Illustrated, being picked to win superbowls, and being proud of a tradition-rich and storied franchise. I remember what it was like to watch and Sundays, surrounded by friends and family. Going to games at Muni and having that immense sense of optimism and pride. I remember what it felt like, seeing those fans, being so excited about their team. Then the dark days of the move came, but the groundswell to bring the team back and the victory that we recieved by doing just that got us all back again. We knew that we would suck the first couple of years, but we didn’t care, our beloved team was back. Then 02 comes, we go on a nice little run, make the playoffs, and everyone is feeling that “yeah, the browns are back, and man this feels great”. We were so sure that things were getting back to what they used to be. What has transpired over the last 13 years since then is without question the most depressing, embarrassing, and soul-crushing things to watch in all of proffessional sports.

If Big Ben throws 2 picks in the 1st half, there is no QB controversey. No one is booing him. They know they’re gonna win anyway. If they lose a game, no one cares, they know they’re going to win next week. The draft is a great time, because they know that they’re just going to draft another Ryan Shazier, Big Ben, Leveon Bell, Anotnio Brown, or Troy Polamalu, because they always do. They’ve had 3 coaches in 40 years.

We have a Syrian refugee camp.

[Author]

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